Sober Curious, Identity Shifts & the Freedom to Keep Choosing
The Experiment Begins
On December 26, 2022, I quietly decided to stop drinking alcohol.
It wasn’t some grand declaration. No big “I’m quitting forever” commitment. Just a curious experiment. I knew alcohol didn’t make me feel great—body aches, migraines, and anxiety that could stretch on for days, sometimes weeks. Even one glass would set me off.
So, I gave myself a few months. A wellness experiment. A reset.
Those few months turned into a few years.
At first, it was awkward. Social situations felt foreign. People joked. Some were supportive, others honestly left me feeling uncomfortable. And if I’m being honest? Being around people who were a little buzzed when I was 100% clear-minded sometimes grated on my nerves. I felt like I was walking around a party with my senses turned way up.
When Identity Becomes a Label
But over time, I didn’t just get used to it—I loved it.
I loved how clear I felt. How grounded. How my sleep improved. How my body no longer ached as much. And I began identifying as a non-drinker. Not in a “look at me” way, but in a “this feels like me” way.
Alcohol-free became a part of my identity. It felt good… until it started to feel a little too rigid.
Because with identity often comes rules. Responsibility. “Never again.” “This is who I am now.”
And honestly? That can be… heavy.
Testing the Waters
So, after 3 years and 4 months, I got curious again.
I tried a drink. A margarita, which I've never even liked. Still, just to see.
That night? 2am anxiety. A pounding head. Racing thoughts. The exact symptoms I hadn’t missed.
Weeks later, I tried again with my old go-to. Tequila and club with lime on the deck with my husband. Same thing.
And again, last night. No surprise, same result.
This Isn’t About Alcohol
Now here’s where this gets less about alcohol and more about mindset.
I recently found out I have genetic variants that mean alcohol and I are a terrible match. So the science is there. But for me, this is about something deeper: the power of honoring what’s true for you, while letting go of the pressure to define that truth once and for all.
I thought stepping into a new identity meant I had to stay there. But the truth?
You can keep evolving. You don’t owe anyone permanence.
Here’s What I Know Now
You’re allowed to:
Change your mind.
Re-try something and realize it still doesn’t serve you.
Opt out without shame.
Say “I’m still learning what works for me.”
You’re not weak for testing a boundary. You’re wise for listening to your body and your intuition.
Today I Choose Me
This isn’t about alcohol. It’s about self-trust. It’s about the ongoing choice to care for yourself—and how that choice may look different over time. Because healing, growth, and wellness aren’t fixed destinations. They’re lived, day by day, in how we choose.
And today, I choose to feel good. Clear. Grounded. Connected.
Today, I choose me.
